Love can be ir-rat-ional
It's that time of year isn't it, where you think about what you are and what you should be doing.
I had a good time the last week or so. My best friend (I'm accepting of the theoretical one-sidedness of that) turned up and reminded me of a few things, it all got warm and blurry, and I cried more than usual.
I stayed with a family that is not mine, though mostly I feel that on a technicality. I am so lucky to feel welcome there. To feel that I can share moments both joyous and deeply sad, and may even contribute something of worth to those times, is a wonder, and I am more grateful than know how to say.
Mostly I've remembered the ways that I slip. Everyone has their lazy ways, their trying-to-do-it-in-the-cheapest-easiest-shortest-way kind of ways. I remember that those arent necessarily the best ways. I went out to the pub instead of studying, and contrary to the belief of some I wanted to, I wasn't sacrificing what I 'should' have been doing. I should have been there, with you and your friends, playing pool and enjoying life and people. It's not a waste, and I remembered that.
I went to church and sang songs with an athiest, a jew-christian hybrid and another of yet unknown religious outlook. It was interesting. I played games and talked about winning and drank a little.
In summary, a good time. Sometimes I know there is a guilt to be felt in wanted to do nothing, especially when everyone seems to enjoy doing things so much, so I guess I feel that too.
I hope this year is full of stories, perhaps even some nice or interesting or strange enough to put here.
Here are my resolutions (i've never made any before now)
1. Dance more - (re)start my salsa
2. Dont take short cuts - do things now because its easier than remembering to do it later