Sunday, July 20, 2008

Square one

I'm very angry...honest

I haven't written here in a good while. This mostly has to do with me 'busying' myself. And what a lot of busying i've been doing.

There is a theory that if you keep yourself busy then things don't get on your mind. It's one of my personal favourites. But today, having protested in London, met a few hundred people i didn't know, been to the Zimbawean embassy, had a 9 hours meeting about the charity and slept for fifteen hours I found myself with the dreaded DAY OFF. dun dun dun.

First i busied myself going in to work and printing necessary things, practising the talk i'm giving, reading things. But i just couldn't do it. I'm too tired. So mostly i ended up sitting still. Sitting still is most definitely bad for you. Listened to some old records - had been reminded of the Throwing Muses so found them again - but still the stillness catches up.

Where do i find myself? Right back at the beginning. Square one. Which, having checked, is definitely, one. Why do things end up this way? There are so many decision to make, none of which i have, so many things that i know are important. I wish square one was two.


Hoverflies are great. I've always like two things especially. Firstly, they spend so much time and energy (whose relationship i realise i never understood) just staying in the same place. Do you think they wonder what exactly it is that is dragging them down all the time? Those busy little birds and bees chasing themselves in circles and the hoverfly is steadfast. Busy being still and looking like he's looking. It's nice.

Secondly is the stealth insect tactic of looking like something altogether nastier. Much easier than actually stinging people is just to look the part. It's always been my method of choice. Not wearing yellow and black little numbers.

These two look particularly happy with themselves too, I've never found insects romantic before now.