orkw rkwo kwor work

I went back to the house I moved out of at the beginning of the year tonight. This was in celebration of a friend who lived there, whos birthday it was. I drove there after picking up a gift and got the house. After a couple of hours or so I was back on my way. I stood on the step a little longer than necessary, feeling heavy with thoughts. I remembered standing there looking closely at someone, I remembered my bike being stolen and sitting on the pavement (or possibly sidewalk), I remembered it being cold and hot and all the temperatures in between. It was at this time I wanted to go back to work. I realised thats why I work. Its nothing to do with anything more noble. I just cant stand the rest of it. I hate feeling like the one on the side, I hate knowing that I will always say the wrong thing on the phone no matter what we are talking about, I hate not being bothered to do the exercise I know is a good idea, I hate feeling ugly and knowing the news. The only time when I'm somewhere else is when I'm working. So I'm in the hospital now, learning about infertility.