I have hardly anything of any use today, but I've been so desperate to write here the last few weeks I'm pleased to be putting down any sort of non-sense. One might even argue thats the point, but I'm sure thats a whole other matter.
Hmm, things that have happened. I've moved to another hospital. I think at one point I'll be surprised to actually be ill in a hospital. This one is a children's hospital. It has walls which look as though they once had colour but have become sick and old. There are paintings on most walls and a lot of small beds. Children are pretty amazing really, the potential is overwhelming at times.
I've been getting hideously lost almost everyday, mostly in relation to the M60 which, just when I thought I had it mastered, fooled me again today, allowing me to go 5 junctions before realising I was going the wrong way around the clock, in many senses of the word.
I spend a lot of time with dave, my 'clinical partner' (in crime). He's definitely interesting. Warm and giddy, overbearing, irritating in the extreme, admirable and surprisingly young and old simultaneously. I hope that he knows I consider him a good friend, even though Im most often blunt and off-hand. Ive had the opportunity to regret that in the past, and hope that I have changed a little, enough to make it obvious that is.
I miss Neil a lot. I miss feeling comfortable and having to defend the way I am. I miss knowing that I make someone else feel better (you really get that so much as a medical student.) We talk, but its still hard.
I've been listening to Pulp quite a bit and my mind has been drifting back to places, perhaps its the children. I've thought about my grandparents, walsden, old primary school friends, playing with my brother.
Today I thought whilst driving home that the motorway looks awfully pretty at night-time, like electric vessels, and the cars seem to direct themselves so smoothly. You'd hardly believe there were human hands controlling each one, in turn controlled by busy minds, busy with singing along old hits or talking or thinking about that annoying colleague. Funny really.